Love Springs From Nowhere

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I cannot speak love, although my mouth will often try,

I cannot write love, although my pen flows with words,

I cannot think love although my mind wants in on the play,

I cannot face love, although I often look it in the eye,

Love springs from nowhere infecting my heart, saturating my body, and soaking into my bones.

How Deep Are My Roots?

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Down, down, down, deep into the earth and beyond, never stopping further than my imagination can take me. My dad, his dad, his dad, his dad, his dad, until I see no dads! And then further again, no dads, no dads, no dads, no dads, until nothing arises out of me.

I cling to my roots, I cling to my past, these very roots, hold me firm. I am good at this like my dad, I am bad at this like his dad, my hair is white like his dad, and and my eyes are blue like his dad. And so it goes, back and back until at last, I am the essence of NO dads, and nothing arises out of me.

It takes courage to cut my roots so deeply for freedom to arise. Free from the field of comfort and delusion where my dads of past love to lie. The sword cuts the axe chops the roots finally sever and into nothingness I disappear and no trace is left of me. And there it is the field beyond where the face of NO dads appear; nothing arises, no roots, no self, just free to roam in infinite possibility.

In Love With The Unknown

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Again and again, I find myself on this road,

halfway between the life I left behind and the life I have not yet claimed.

And for the moment, breathless, I forget the destination, forget where I am going

because my heart is ablaze, and the wind is in my hair, and the world cannot keep up with me.

I am too fast for this world, too alive to think about consquences.

I have risked everything to ride on this road, risked ridicule and rejection and my precious reputation, but I have chosen life over death,

freedom over approval, speed over stagnation.

I have fallen in love with the unknown again.

The destination will show itself, yes, a new life will rise, but first I must ride, guided only by some inner knowing, a little frightened but in awe of my own courage.

Connection

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There is no greater connection than our connection to the earth,

It has to be this way as gravity returns us time and time again.

The birds fly, masters of the air,

We stumble, masters of the mind,

Sink deep, let gravity pull us into the darkness of the deepest ocean,

Empty your lungs and with your last gasp release and let go,

Let go of everything, let go of everyone, let go of life as you know it.

And only then will you pass through the gate less gate to freedom and beyond.

I Have Learnt Too Much

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I have learnt too much,

And yet I know nothing.

I have so much to share,

But with who I know not.

From where did I come,

And where do I go,

The birds sings, the mosquitos bite, in stillness I sit.

Trust not me, and trust not you,

How do we speak a truth that we cannot see.

Sit and find your way home,

And only then can you trust,

But not me and not you.

Now & Zen

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Published in OM Yoga Magazine – March 2018

My journey into yoga and Zen Buddhism began over seven years ago at a time in my life when I was rapidly self-destructing, fears of failure and pressures of business and life, snowballing over a decade until life itself reached a breaking point and snapped. In desperation I began to look for something, Continue reading

Let Nature Bite Your Arse!

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IMG_3237Two weekends ago I was lucky enough to be part of a UK based Zen Leader programme held at a rural retreat in Somerset. Eleven European leaders and entrepreneurs from a variety of industries and organisations immersed themselves in zen and leadership for three days. The feedback along with a couple of post participant blogs indicated that the programme was a great success. As always, watching leaders re-connect with their themselves is still a reminder to me of how lost we can become in this busy, turbulent and disruptive world. But what I love about these programmes is as well as immersing in zen we also have the opportunity to engage ourselves in nature, and on this particular programme in a beautiful part of rural Somerset.

There is no doubt in my mind that nature and humans are intrinsically connected, writing that statement alone seems relatively stupid in itself, as are we, not life itself? Where is this separation? During the programme, it was fascinating to witness participants drop into to what we refer to in zen as ‘bigness’ or ‘something beyond the self’ all of which is a little abstract. Nature helps with this process, taking us away from our separate and independent view of ourselves, to move towards bigness and connection with life itself.

Last weekend the scenario was flipped, and it was spent assisting at a yoga teacher training in a studio in Soho, Central London, which is probably as far away as you can get from being immersed in nature. But watching those thousands of commuters rush past me on Friday evening, desperate to leave behind their daily grind, lost in the process to their surroundings, nature came from nowhere and bit my arse! Drowned out by the speed and noise of the city nature was there in all its beauty, shouting at me, STOP, ignore me to your detriment! Look, see my green buds sprouting, my blossom opening, smell my fragrance, and breath into my bigness, I am here!

It brought to mind a quote by the author Pico Iyer:

In an age of constant acceleration,

Nothing can be more exhilarating than going slow.

In an age of constant distraction, nothing is so luxurious as paying attention.

In an age of constant movement, nothing is so urgent as sitting still.

 

Zen Leadership programmes  http://www.institutezenleadership.org 

42 Acres Rural retreat Somerset http://www.42acres.com